If you no longer love your wife, then why are you still married to her? Both of you would probably be much better off if you were given the opportunity to find someone you truly loved, and someone who loved you back. Think about it. Laziness is a major turnoff to women/men, and a bad habit to boot. Laziness isn’t necessarily watching football on Sunday; laziness is not doing something you know you should or want to do, but can’t bring yourself to. So take the garbage out, surprise her once a week by cleaning the house, or exercise to show her you has self-worth. Sometimes doing just one more little thing will make your spouse all the happier. It makes a big difference.
Try not to be selfish
We could debate for hours how selfish humans are, but one thing seems clear: though we are selfish, we have the capacity to be selfless. Love should inspire that selflessness. Instead of always asking what you can do for yourself, start asking what you can do for your wife, or what you can do for the benefit of your marriage.
You may get a little jealous from time to time, and that’s okay, as long as you try to not let it affect your wife’s happiness. (It’s probably a good sign if you’re jealous.) That’s because jealousy can be very selfish. Never keep your wife from doing something just because you’re jealous.
Learn how to reach the middle ground. Often, what you want and what your wife wants will be totally different. In these cases, adjust your expectations. Don’t expect to always get exactly your share or to “win” the argument.
Never raise your voice, yell at, or physically abuse her. Your wife trusts you to look after her comfort and safety. Don’t set a bad example and let your emotions get the better of you.
Control your tone, if possible, in an argument:
- “I’m worried that we’re not sticking to our budget. I’m not accusing you of anything. I’m just looking out for our long-term happiness and I wanted to have a discussion with you about ways we could both change our spending habits.”
- Resist ad hominem, or personal, attacks. The following is not a healthy way to argue:
- “Oh yeah? You really want to make sure our children get into a good school? Well why don’t you talk to your ex-boyfriend the principal? You seem to have a smashing relationship with him.”
- Never hit, detain, or threaten your wife with violence. Do not try to use your physical size as an advantage over her. Your wife could press charges.
- How can little things, like working out or taking out the trash, help you you and, in turn, help your relationship?
- It will take some of the pressure off her because you care.
- It will show that you listen to her when she speaks.
Find little ways to make her feel great
It’s funny because, often, the smallest things find a way to nourish a relationship. Ask yourself, what can I do to make my wife even happier? It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering to be effective. It’s the thought behind it, and the emotion in it, that’s the real gift:
Work on having a better relationship with your in-laws. Few things are more important for her than you having a relationship with her parents. You probably don’t see your in-laws every day, but that undersells the importance of the goal: ultimately, she wants you to love them like you love your parents.
- Does your wife really care about charity? Invest in a microloan in her name, and give it to her as a present. She is now the proud beneficiary of someone else’s opportunity.
- Do things around the house that she normally doesn’t enjoy. If your wife hates doing the dishes, for example, make her a little “get out dishes free” card, good for a week without dish-duty.
It might seem weird, but being open with your spouse is indeed a sign of affection: it shows them that you trust them and, more importantly, that you enjoy being intimate with them emotionally. Women/men are especially attuned to their emotions; men are often not. Being open will reassure her that you’re taking that step for her.
Show her you love her
Why did you marry her in the first place? Express to her why you love and how she makes you feel every day. Do this often or try wazifa for husband love to do things for you easily. It will lead to good habits, promote more love and affection in your marriage, and reduce amounts of stress.